Ride Steady Read online

  “No, you don’t,” I answered curtly before Joker could. “This is a friend of mine. Now, I’m sorry, did I miss a call or text telling me you’d be visiting? Something our custody agreement, by the way, notes specifically I should expect.”

  Aaron finally stopped examining Joker and looked to me. “No.”

  “Is there something I can help you with?” I offered.

  “We could not do this on the walkway, Carissa. That’d help,” Aaron replied.

  “I’m afraid I’m not a big fan of you being in my home,” I returned.

  “Carrie,” Joker said low.

  I jerked my head back to look up at him.

  He shook his head once.

  I understood what he was communicating to me.

  We were filing a motion and I had to be a good girl, not a jerkface like Aaron. I didn’t need to give him any ammunition like he’d been handing me.

  “Come in,” I mumbled, letting Joker’s hand go to dig in my purse. I got my keys and let us in.

  I moved around turning on lights, and when I was done, I saw Aaron just inside the closed door, Joker with Travis asleep on his chest by the bar.

  “Can I hold my son?” Aaron asked Joker.

  Joker looked right to me.

  When he did, my only thought was, honest to goodness, I could love that man.

  “It’s okay,” I said quietly.

  Joker didn’t look like he liked it, but he moved to Aaron and transferred a still-mostly-asleep-but-blinking Travis into Aaron’s arms.

  “Hey, buddy. Hey, my little guy,” Aaron cooed when he got his son.

  I watched him do this and it happened again.

  I used to hate that. I’d hated that he loved Travis that much. I’d hated that he was (probably) a good father. I’d hated that he didn’t give all that to Travis and me.

  But right then I didn’t hate it.

  I didn’t care about it at all.

  Because Joker fed my son his carrots and carried him up the stairs. And further, he let him lick his beard, pull his hair, and a lot more. He liked doing it too.

  And now Travis also had Big Petey. And Tyra. And Elvira.

  Not just me. No longer just me and a grandpa a state away.

  My son had more.

  We didn’t need Aaron.

  Travis and I were building our own family.

  “I can imagine this is nice for you, Aaron, having a moment with your child outside our normal schedule,” I remarked. “But it’s late, he needs his crib, I worked today, and I’m tired. So if you’ve come by for that, please wrap it up so we can get on with our night.”

  My ex-husband settled our son to his shoulder and looked at me.

  Yes, interesting blue eyes.

  But just interesting.

  “I deserved that,” he said softly.

  I felt the banked fire in my belly start to rage.

  He was never nice to me. These days, he was never anything to me.

  I held back the fire and replied, “I see. You know about Gustafson, Howard and Pierce.”

  Aaron let a flinch show. “The attorney community is—”

  I shook my head. “Honestly, not to be mean, but I don’t care. I didn’t lie when I said I was tired. We just had dinner. I have things to do before tomorrow. Can you please explain why you’re here so you can leave and I can do them?”

  He glanced at Joker then back to me. “I had hoped to speak to you one on one.”

  “That’s not gonna happen,” Joker put in on a subdued growl.

  Yes, oh heck yes, I could love that man.

  “And who are you, exactly?” Aaron asked Joker.

  “That his business?” Joker asked me.

  Gosh, I wanted to kiss him.

  “I should know who’s spending time with my son,” Aaron pointed out, his deep voice that once could lull me into believing just about anything verging on a snap.

  “This is a friend of mine,” I said quickly and got Aaron’s eyes. “He’s called Joker and we’re…” I paused and put it out there, “dating.”

  “Dating?” Aaron asked incredulously.

  And hurtfully.

  “You lost interest in me but that doesn’t mean the entirety of mankind did,” I returned.

  “Of course not, you’re beautiful,” Aaron spat and I blinked. “But you’ve got a job and a child to raise.”

  “Seeing as you work so much, I’m surprised you forgot,” I shot back. “But you also have a job. And a child. Not to mention a fiancée.”

  Aaron scowled at me before he took in a visibly deep breath, ran his hand through his thick, shiny, dark hair, and rearranged his features.

  “I didn’t come here to fight,” he shared when he again focused on me.

  “I’m glad you mentioned that, because we still haven’t established precisely why you’ve come here,” I returned.

  “If you have issues, Carissa, we should work them out one on one,” he declared.

  I stared.

  Then I looked to Joker. “Is he kidding?”

  Joker held my eyes then his roamed my face.

  After he did that, he smiled at me.

  Right out. Blinding and beautiful. Strong white teeth stark against his thick black beard and everything.

  It was all I needed.

  I turned back to Aaron. “You don’t take my calls.”

  “I will in future.”

  “Will you share with me my son is ill in future too?”

  His face turned to stone.

  Tory was going to get it but I didn’t care.

  Regardless, I noted, “You shouldn’t be angry with her. She did the right thing. One hundred percent. The person who didn’t was you. She’s not his mother. But you are his father and it should have been you who shared that with me.”

  “So you hired the most expensive firm in Denver to handle your hissy fit?” Aaron fired back.

  Gustafson, Howard and Pierce were the most expensive firm in Denver?

  No.

  Wait.

  My hissy fit?

  “You took my son to the hospital, Aaron,” I said, voice trembling with fury.

  “It was just croup,” Aaron blew it off.

  “You took my son to the hospital, Aaron,” I repeated.

  He shook his head. “This is not the point. The point is, you cannot afford that firm.”

  “No,” I volleyed. “The point is, you’re terrified I’m going to use what little bit of money I have battling you by using attorneys that aren’t scared of the mighty Neiland network and you’ll have to pay their fees as well as the child support you should be giving Travis.”

  “If you want money, Carissa, you just have to ask,” he retorted.

  “Who? Tory?” I returned. “Since you refuse to speak to me, that is.”

  His mouth got hard.

  “You created this situation, Aaron. And I know how it pains you, and you’re my son’s father, so it gives me no pleasure to point out that you’ve instigated another fail. You thought since you played me and mistreated me for years that I’d roll over for you. But you’re no longer dealing with a girl who lost half her world by the time she was eighteen and therefore held on to all she had left with all she had in her. You’re dealing with a mother. That’s an entirely different breed. So I’d advise you change your tactics and your goals. Because your current fight is a fight there is no way in hell you can win.”

  “I don’t want to hurt you anymore, Carissa,” he said gently.

  What a liar.

  He didn’t want his epic fail to bloom out of control and damage his reputation.

  “Then reach out to my attorney,” I suggested. “We can meet to rearrange our agreement so it’s more beneficial for our son. But that will happen with my attorney present. Where it won’t happen is in the late evening in my living room during a meeting that was meant to be an ambush. Now, please, give me my son and leave.”

  Aaron stared at me. He did this a while. Too long. So long I could actu
ally feel Joker losing patience.

  I was right there with him.

  Then Aaron said, “You’ve changed.”

  “That happens when a girl dreams of nothing but being a part of a happy family and her husband cheats on her and then kicks her in the teeth. Repeatedly. If she can pick herself up, she learns, and that girl turns into a woman who’ll fight, scratch, and die before she’s brought low again.”

  “I still wish you’d speak with me alone,” Aaron coaxed.

  “Think we went over that,” Joker stated.

  Aaron looked to him. He did it angrily at first but then he did it strangely. Not with anger, more like focus, like he wasn’t looking at him but he wanted to put his finger on something and couldn’t find it.

  But really, I was done.

  “Aaron, my son,” I prompted.

  My ex-husband turned his attention back to me.

  Then he got close and that was when I felt Joker get tense.

  But Aaron stopped and I watched as he bent his neck to kiss Travis’s baby head.

  “’Night, little guy,” he whispered.

  Ugh.

  Carefully, he transferred our son to me, and once I had him, I cuddled him close.

  Aaron looked at me.

  “You look good, Carissa,” he murmured.

  Another lie. I didn’t. Unfortunately, on my first date with the handsome biker Joker, I was in my LeLane’s uniform, my hair in a ponytail, and my makeup was ten hours old. There hadn’t been time to change into my tube top.

  But I was totally wearing my tube top when I met Aaron with our attorneys. He might be shocked but I didn’t give a hoo-ha. He could kiss my behind.

  “Goodnight, Aaron.”

  He stared into my eyes.

  I sighed and allowed myself to look bored.

  “’Night, Riss,” he whispered.

  Ugh again.

  He hadn’t called me Riss since high school.

  Jerkface!

  I said nothing.

  Aaron turned from me, gave Joker an unhappy look, and moved to the door.

  Joker sauntered there as well and didn’t hesitate to shut and lock it the minute Aaron stepped outside.

  “I need to see to Travis,” I announced when he turned my way. “I don’t have any beer or anything but grab whatever. Turn on the TV. Take a load off. I’ll be out in a bit.”

  “You need to write that shit that just happened down, baby. We’ll go over it together to make sure you didn’t miss anything. And then you call it in to Angie tomorrow.”

  “Right. We’ll do that after Travis is down.”

  Joker was studying me closely. “You okay?”

  “I’m fabulous,” I told him. “He’s scared and he thinks he can play me. But I’m done with his games. I just want him to sort himself out so I can take care of my son the way he deserves and get on with my life.”

  On that, I turned away and headed to the bedroom.

  So it was unfortunate I missed Joker staring after me, at first disbelievingly.

  Then he was smiling.

  * * *

  I was camped out on the couch.

  No, correction.

  I was camped out on Joker who was stretched out on his back on the couch.

  There had been no making out, which was disappointing.

  But when I came back from putting Travis to bed, Joker and I sat at my bar as I recorded Aaron’s visit.

  Done with that, we headed to the couch, Joker going before me. So when I moved in front of him, he’d grabbed my hips and pulled me to the cushions, him on his back, me on him, me mistakenly tensing in a good way, thinking he was instigating a make out session. But that had been all he did.

  I liked the way he kissed. I wanted more.

  But something about this was (almost) better.

  Part of that better was that Joker sensed this—and not a hot and heavy make out session—was what I needed.

  Most of that better was that this was exactly what I needed even though I didn’t know I needed it because until then, I didn’t really know it existed.

  To veg out in front of the TV, relaxing, mind clearing, body melting, Joker’s fingers gently teasing my ringlets, his hard body warm and strong beneath me, his breath coming steady and easy.

  Just that. Just us. Just nothing.

  Nothing taxing.

  Nothing exhausting.

  Nothing annoying.

  Nothing upsetting.

  Okay, so also nothing exciting.

  But I found lying on Joker that I liked this kind of nothing.

  It wasn’t the same as having nothing when you were alone.

  It was vastly different.

  And I liked that different a whole lot.

  “You drink beer,” I mumbled, my voice quiet and kind of sleepy because I was the same.

  “Is that a question or a statement?” Joker’s deep biker voice vibrated under my cheek.

  “It’s a statement.”

  “Then I’ll confirm. I drink beer.”

  I grinned against his chest. “I’ll get some in.”

  “I’ll bring some.”

  “I can get it.”

  “You know what I like?”

  “Uh… no.”

  “Then I’ll bring it.”

  I’d allow that but only because if it was in my fridge, I’d see it so I could replenish it when it ran out.

  “That question mean I’m comin’ back?”

  He wanted that.

  I did too.

  I melted deeper into him and pressed my cheek into his chest.

  That was part of my answer.

  The rest of it was, “You’re way more comfy than my couch.”

  His fingers stopped playing with my hair so they could tangle in it.

  That wasn’t part of his answer, it was his whole one.

  It was also a good one.

  “Did good with that asshole tonight, baby,” he said, the vibration in his chest a soothing rumble. “Didn’t hold your own, you bested him.”

  I loved it that he thought that. Loved it.

  And I loved it that I did that. I was proud of myself. Another new feeling that I liked.

  “Thanks, sweetie,” I mumbled.

  His other arm stole around me and he gave me a light squeeze.

  Minutes passed before he asked softly, “You goin’ to sleep, Butterfly?”

  “Do you mind?”

  “Fuck no.”

  He liked me there.

  I liked that because I liked me there too. Right there. Doing nothing with Joker.

  “One dollar and five cents,” I muttered, blinked, blinked again, felt something shaking, but it felt good.

  So I fell asleep and missed that something being Joker’s long, hard, warm, strong biker body…

  Laughing.

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  What You Need

  Carissa

  I WAS JOSTLED gently before I settled, but I settled blinking.

  I didn’t know where I was, though when my eyes finally opened it all came to me.

  I sleepily pushed up on my forearms in the cushions and lifted my head to see a pair of jeans clad hips rounding the arm of my couch.

  I looked up and over the back and saw a messy-haired, drowsy-eyed, phenomenal biker.

  “Sweetie?” I called, and he looked down at me.

  The second he did I became a puddle of goo on the couch.

  “Hear him fussin’,” he said softly.

  I stared.

  Joker disappeared.

  I pushed up to sitting and was on my feet when Joker walked in, carrying Travis, who was rubbing his face on Joker’s black T-shirt at the same time clenching it in his little fist.

  I stared again as I became a new puddle of goo, but this time standing.

  I pulled my goo together, walked to Joker, and grinned at him before I got close, put a hand on my son’s back and whispered, “Mornin’, baby.”

  Travis rubbed his face again, lifted his head
in a wobbly way then gave up and planted his cheek on Joker’s chest.

  Total goo.

  My boy loved his mommy, and he loved getting morning snuggles from me.

  But he definitely liked Joker too. I knew this because he was happy where he was and not reaching out to me.

  I found I liked this. All of it. I liked that Travis liked it, and I liked that Joker liked giving it.

  I leaned in and kissed Travis’s head.

  “Want ’im or want first turn in the bathroom?” Joker asked.

  My gaze lifted to his. “What do you want?”

  “I’m easy.”

  He was.

  I just didn’t know how he could be. He’d had a crappy life and now he belonged to a club of bikers.

  But he was definitely easy.

  “I’ll take him,” I offered, moving my other hand to Travis. “You go first.”

  We did the baby transfer. Then we took our turns doing morning stuff in the bathroom. While Joker did his, with practiced ease balancing my baby, I made coffee.

  We had our mugs and Joker was behind the bar, I was on a stool as Travis shook away sleep in my arms, when Joker asked, “What’s on for your day?”

  “Gotta get my car,” I murmured as Travis made movements I read so I slid off the stool and bent to put him on his tush on the floor.

  I went and fetched a variety of things from a basket in the living room area. I brought him his selection of toys and Travis stared at them, still shaking off sleep but also deciding.

  “Get you that,” Joker said and I looked to him. “After we get your car, you need to do laundry? We can take it to the Compound.”

  He’d said we.

  I liked that but I shook my head. “I do that kind of thing when I don’t have Travis so I can be with Travis and not with him in a Laundromat.”

  “Groceries?” Joker went on.

  “Same,” I told him. “We’re good.”

  He nodded and looked over the bar as Travis leaned forward, pressing his baby hands into buttons, making noise on the toy keyboard. He enjoyed the sound. I knew that from experience, but it was confirmed when he tipped back his head and giggled.

  I grinned at my son as I thought about it, decided what I wanted, so I went for it.

  I looked to Joker. “Are you, uh… busy today?”

  His gaze went from Travis to me. “Nope.”

  “Wanna, maybe… spend the day with Travis and me?”

  His lips curved up. “Yep.”