Kaleidoscope Read online

  “Ja—”

  “And that outbuilding you have that looks like it’s supposed to be a garage but is mostly a wreck, it gets new windows, new doors, new locks and a new garage door with remote. I want you parking in there because I want your vehicle secure so I need that building secure. When I move in, we’ll scrape it and build a bigger garage.”

  He watched her blink, felt her body jerk slightly under his and she asked, “When you move in?”

  “Yeah, when I move in. So this means I’m investing in what’s eventually gonna be my own home so you can’t find shit wrong with that.”

  “I… you… you’re moving in with me?’

  “Not tomorrow. Not in a week. Though, tomorrow, you’re movin’ in with me. I got an attached garage, security system, motion sensors on the outside lights and a dog. And, just sayin’, we’re focusing inside work on the wires so we can get a puppy. A German shepherd or a Rottie.”

  “We’re getting a puppy?” she asked then went on before he could answer. “I’m moving in with you?”

  “Until work is done here. We’ll start lookin’ for dogs now, though. Buford’s got a helluva bark but his look could make someone underestimate him. Only a plain moron would underestimate a shepherd or a Rottie.”

  “Okay, I, uh… well, I’m not sure how we got here,” she shared.

  “We got here because, straight up, baby, every loved one of someone who does something like I do, shit like Chace does, if it gets extreme, they can be vulnerable.”

  He heard her sharp intake of breath, had no clue if what he was doing was the right thing to do, but he powered on doing it, hoping to God it was.

  “But, just pointin’ out, crazy shit has happened in this county. Too much of it. So much it’s surreal. But Nina, Lexie, they didn’t have a man or someone in their life that had a job that put them in that place. That shit can happen to anyone, baby. You didn’t live here, you lived in Denver County when it happened to you. You also didn’t have a dad who was a cop or did something that put you in jeopardy. But you have concerns. They’re valid concerns. That means we alleviate the vulnerabilities.”

  He paused to make sure that was sinking in in the way he’d hoped. She nodded slowly, so Deck took that as a good sign and carried on.

  “Best thing you can do to protect a home is have a dog. Next up, security system. Next up, good lights. People who do bad shit do not like dogs or lights, and most idiots who are fucked up enough to do bad shit aren’t smart enough to bypass a security system.”

  “Oh,” she mumbled. It was noncommittal but he could still tell he was getting in there. Her body was loosening under his and her face was getting soft in the moonlight.

  So he kept going.

  “We also step this up so you can feel good up here,” he stated, lifting a hand and tapping her gently on her forehead. “Self-defense classes. You won’t need them but they’ll make you feel that you might know better how to handle a situation. Even if it is highly unlikely that situation will occur.”

  “That’s actually a good idea,” she whispered, and he grinned.

  Then his grin faded, he dipped his face closer and he shared, “As much as it shits me, I cannot protect you from the bad things in life, baby. What both of us can do is be smart, be aware and be prepared. ’Cause, I know this. You can twist this in your head as another reason to disconnect from me, but even not being with me, that doesn’t mean you can assure you’ll be safe. What I know for definite is, you being with me, I will bust my ass and break the bank to do everything I can to keep you that way. So, in reality, being with me does not make you more vulnerable. It makes you safer.”

  Emme had no response.

  Then, two seconds later, she did.

  And this was to lift her hand to cup his jaw and whisper, “Seriously, Jacob. I really, really like you.”

  It was whacked but he almost liked hearing her say that more than hearing her tell him she loved him.

  Almost.

  Then again, coming from his Emme, it meant the same thing.

  He let out a breath and with it went the tightness he felt in his gut. After, he dropped his mouth to hers and gave her a brief kiss.

  When he lifted his head, she asked, “You’re moving in with me?

  His head tilted at the repeat in subject, and her baffled tone, and he replied, “Yeah, babe. Told you that. Not tomorrow or—”

  She interrupted him. “What about your house?”

  “We get to that time, I’ll sell it.”

  This time, her head tilted. “You’ll sell your house?”

  He felt his brows draw together. “Yeah.”

  “But, don’t you like your house? I mean, it’s an awesome house.”

  “Yeah, Emme, I love my house. I worked my ass off for that house. But do I love that house more than you love this heap?”

  He felt her body still under his.

  “No,” he answered when she didn’t. “So, when we’re at that place to make the change, I move here.”

  She was silent.

  Utterly.

  Then she wasn’t. But she said something that made little sense.

  “I have more bedrooms than you.”

  “Yeah, you do,” he agreed unnecessarily.

  “So our kids can have their own rooms, even if we have a bunch of them. Like, four. But, just saying, we’ll need to keep a guest room for when Mom and Dad or Rich and Karla visit.”

  That was when Deck stilled.

  “Though, I don’t want four kids, just to say,” Emme continued.

  Deck had no reply.

  This was because his blood felt like it was boiling, his heart pumping so hard in his chest, she had to feel it.

  And Emme kept talking.

  “Actually, I was thinking two. Girls.”

  Deck replied to that.

  “One has to be a boy so I can name him after Chace.”

  “Chace?” she asked, then declared. “If we have a boy, we’re naming him after Dad.”

  Had she lost her mind?

  “I am not namin’ a kid Barnard,” he declared.

  “We have to name him after Dad.”

  “That isn’t happening, Emme.”

  “Okay, I get you. It isn’t exactly a name in vogue right now so maybe we can use it as a middle name,” she compromised.

  “Babe, no,” he refused her compromise.

  Her voice was pitched higher, which meant more annoyed, when she asked, “Not even as a middle name?”

  And it was then he realized they were there.

  She’d been scared. She had logical reasons to be scared. She’d shared. They’d talked.

  Now they were arguing about what to name their future son.

  He wasn’t pulling her back as she was pushing away.

  They were talking about what to name their future son.

  So Deck didn’t even try to control it when he lifted his hands to frame her face and dipped his head so close to his girl, all he could smell was strawberries.

  “You get the house we raise our kids in. I get to name our son Chace Richard,” he whispered, his voice thick.

  Her voice husky in return, her hands gliding down his chest then around to link at his back, she replied, “That actually has a nice ring to it.”

  He dropped closer and against her lips whispered, “Decided.”

  “Yeah,” she whispered back.

  “Love you, Emme.”

  “Love you too, Jacob.”

  When he got that, he took her mouth.

  Then he gave back.

  It took another two hours before Emme settled on top of him again.

  And her voice stated plain she was almost gone when she sleepily said, “Your kaleidoscope will look awesome in this room. Maybe on the mantel.”

  She was not wrong. It would look good in this room.

  But it wasn’t going on the mantel.

  “You feel the urge, baby, you can put it on my nightstand tomorrow.”

  “I wou
ld if I had it,” she replied, her voice fading with each word then her body weight pressed into him as she fell asleep.

  But Deck’s entire frame strung tight.

  Due to what was happening, he hadn’t thought much about his missing kaleidoscope, which had gone missing during the time he was in Denver. Something that told him Emme, in a snit, had taken it.

  And when he did think about it, he hadn’t brought it up in an effort not to argue because he loved her and he got she was in a rough place and had been for years, but it pissed him off she took it.

  He also hadn’t seen it anywhere in her house.

  Further, he remembered she’d looked confused when they’d been fighting and he told her he wanted it back.

  Now she said she didn’t have it and she had no reason to lie.

  And he had not moved it.

  So where the fuck was it?

  Chapter Nineteen

  Everything to Me

  A week and a half later…

  Deck heard Emme’s whimper as he moved his mouth from between her legs to her belly.

  Slowly, he slid his tongue up her body from navel, between her breasts, to dip it in the indent of her collarbone before he buried his face in her neck.

  She circled him with her arms, wrapped a leg around his thigh and lifted the other knee high, pressing it tight to his side.

  An invitation.

  He nipped her earlobe with his teeth.

  He felt her lips press against his neck and her soft breaths there.

  “Do you love me, Emme?” he whispered.

  “Yes,” she breathed, writhing underneath him.

  “Say it,” he ordered gruffly.

  “Love you, Jacob.”

  When he got the words, he slid in slowly, listening to her breaths become pants and feeling her limbs tighten around him.

  She loved having him inside. All of him.

  Fuck, every bit of her, sweet.

  “Want you to kiss me, honey,” she murmured as he moved, sliding out slow, sliding in slower.

  He lifted his head to look at her. “Taste of you, baby,” he reminded her.

  “I don’t care,” she replied then lost patience. She bent her neck and took his mouth.

  He let her taste him, and herself, then he took over, still moving inside and taking his time.

  He kissed her as her hands moved on him.

  He kept kissing her as he moved his hands on her.

  It was when she broke her mouth from his, unable to take more of his tongue, that he knew she was close.

  “Faster,” she gasped.

  He gave her what she wanted, his fingers at her breast honing in, rolling her nipple.

  “Oh God,” she whimpered, her hips jerking. “Faster, honey.”

  He gave her more and started pounding deep, watching her face. Then he drove in faster just looking at it coming over her.

  He saw no surprise. She was used to him giving it to her now.

  Fuck, seeing that, it felt like he’d conquered a world.

  He went faster.

  All her limbs convulsed and she breathed, “Jacob.”

  Close himself and quickly getting closer, he demanded, “Give that to me, baby.”

  “Jacob!” It came out as a cry.

  She was nearly there.

  He put his mouth to hers. “Give it to me, Emme,” he growled, and tugged hard on her nipple.

  She inhaled sharply then moaned, giving it to him.

  Deck invaded her mouth with his tongue, liking the taste of her orgasm, and then he could take no more. He broke the connection of their mouths, shoved his face in her neck and thrust harder.

  Faster.

  Pumping inside her, her pussy spasming around his cock—fucking ecstasy.

  He felt her hands at either side of his head. He knew what she wanted and he lifted up to give it to her just in time to plant his hips between hers, burying his cock to the root. His head jerked back and he groaned as he poured himself inside his Emme.

  As it left him, Deck dropped his forehead to her shoulder, staying deep, and felt her hands move on him but her legs stayed tight, anchoring him to her.

  That was Emme, now and since they began.

  During sex, she liked to be connected. After sex, she liked to stay that way.

  He slid his lips up her neck and murmured in her ear, “Love you, baby.”

  Her hands stopped moving so her arms could wrap around and hold tight.

  “Thank you,” she whispered into his neck, and he lifted his head to grin down at her.

  “Babe, you don’t have to thank me for an orgasm,” he teased but the grin froze on his face as his body froze on hers when he saw the tears in her eyes. “Emme,” he whispered.

  “The orgasm…” she started but stopped when she hiccupped to swallow down a sob, the origin of which he had no fucking clue. He dipped his face closer, lifting a hand to cup her jaw and she went on, “It was great, honey. But I’m thanking you for bringing me back to… well, me.”

  Fuck yeah.

  Every bit of her, sweet.

  He dropped his head to hers on a groaned, “Emme.”

  “I…” her body jerked under his as she tried to control her sob and her voice was croaky when she continued, “don’t know where I’d be right now without you.”

  He slid his thumb to her lips and whispered, “Stop.”

  “I can’t,” she whispered back, a tear sliding out of her eye. “I have to say it. You have to know. You have to know that I’d be alone, lost and alone forever, if I didn’t have you.”

  He pressed his thumb against her lips and begged, “Stop it, baby.”

  She wrapped her fingers around his wrist, pulling his hand away, tears streaming out the sides of her eyes, and declared, “You gave me my life back.”

  Fuck.

  So sweet.

  “Emme—”

  “You didn’t give up on me.”

  “Honey—”

  Her fingers tensed on his wrist. “You’re everything to me, Jacob.”

  He held her bright eyes then slid his cheek down hers to warn in her ear, “Can’t take more of this sweet, Emmanuelle.”

  She fell silent.

  “You’re everything to me too, baby,” he told her, and felt her shake her head.

  “No. You have a house and a dog and a job that challenges you. You’re close with your family. You have friends, good friends, so good they name their children after you. You have everything, including me. I have good stuff too. Now more than before, but only because of you. Because you led me to that. Stuff I held myself away from. Stuff I’d never have if I hadn’t found you. Stuff I know I’d lose if I didn’t have you.”

  “You wouldn’t lose it, Emme.”

  “If I lost you, I’d lose everything, Jacob. I’d fade away, alone, denying all along I was lonely.”

  Jesus.

  He lifted his head, locked eyes with her and told her gruffly, “You gotta believe, babe, you’re everything to me too.”

  She shook her head again, opened her mouth but he cupped her cheek, thumb back to her lips, and dipped his face close.

  “You’re gonna build on what you started. We’re gettin’ a puppy. You’re building a crew. You’re workin’ through shit with family. You’re gonna have everything I have, Emme. But when you get all that, that won’t mean I won’t be everything to you and that holds true for me.”

  “I—” she pushed out from around his thumb, but he again pressed it to her lips.

  “You’re going to give me children.”

  Her eyes and mouth closed.

  “You’re gonna share my bed, my home, my life, and build a family with me, Emmanuelle,” he told her, and her eyes opened, brighter now, tears again streaming. “That’s everything, baby.”

  She pressed her lips together under his thumb and nodded so he slid his thumb away.

  “You’re right.” She gave him a smile, it was trembling but it lit her eyes and pressed that dimple in her ch
eek. “That’s everything.”

  He pushed his hips into hers, put his lips to hers and whispered, “Love you, Emme.”

  She curled her arms around him and whispered back, “I love you too, honey.”

  He slanted his head and took her mouth in a deep, searing kiss that demonstrated the words they’d just uttered.

  And Emme gave back as good as she got.

  * * *

  Forty-five minutes later…

  “Hi-yah!”

  Emme attacked.

  Buford barked.

  Deck, walking out of the bathroom in nothing but a towel, getting attacked from behind, threw his hands behind his head. He grabbed Emme under her arms, hefted her up his back and took four strides to the bed. She squealed and Buford barked again when he bent at the waist and flipped her over on the bed. He leaned in, grasped her hips, twisted her around and dropped on top of her.

  She huffed out a breath of air and blinked up at him.

  Then she noted, “My instructor didn’t teach that when we were going over scenarios of what to do when being attacked from behind.”

  Deck burst out laughing.

  Emme had liked the idea of self-defense classes and wasted no time finding one and enrolling in it. It was held in the Community Center in Chantelle and she’d been to the first two of six weekly classes. They also did an advanced course, which she’d already signed up to take.

  On the other hand, Deck had wasted no time installing her security system. Her windows were done and now Max was pulling together a bid to see to her garage. And while Deck worked on the system, Emme worked beside him, patching the walls around her wiring.

  That evening, they were heading out to a ranch outside Gnaw Bone to have a look at Rottweiler puppies.

  They had a plan, but better, they were wasting no time moving ahead on it together. And Deck wasn’t dragging Emme along with him.

  She was beside him all the way.

  This meant his laughter was heartfelt in more ways than one.

  “Usually you say ‘hi-yah’ right before you break boards with a karate chop,” he informed her after he quit laughing.

  “I also say ‘hi-yah’ to give my man advance warning I’m about to attack, something he apparently doesn’t need.”

  He felt his brows rise. “Apparently?”

  She grinned at him and stated, “Don’t think I’ll ever be able to flip someone ass over head over my head. So, first, that was awesome you doing it. Second, heads up, I’m so totally attacking and doing it repeatedly so you’ll do it again. And last, even in defeat, I’m taking this opportunity to brag that at least I took my instructor down last night on try three. Though not by flipping him over my head as he’s six one and may weigh twice as much as me.”